This paper analyses the institutional denial of domestic violence in the different socio-cultural contexts of Java (Indonesia) and the western world. The locus of this analysis is the official statements and responses to domestic violence, with attention to the separate fields of the law, social provisions and social research. Our argument is that in Java, as in Western countries, domestic violence remains unrecognised as a social problem, and thus very few steps are taken in either places to combat it and assist those affected by it. This reluctance is explained in the West by the opposition between the public domain (associated to men) and the private one of the family (associated to women). In the Western context the family is viewed as a safe refuge from the conflicts of the public arena. The denial of the existence of violence in the home is a consequence of this. In contrast, in traditional Javanese thought as well as in modern Javanese-Indonesian ideology, family and the wider society are not contrasted, but perceived to be a mirror image of each other, both being regulated by harmonious and hierarchical relations, the latter placing men above women. The strong emphasis on harmony in both private and public spheres is an even stronger incentive to ignore the existence of physical and other abuses within the family in the three arenas of legal recourse, social provisions and research.